"Wait here and Dr. Rape will be in shortly to work on you."
Awesome Alabama
I moved to Birmingham, Alabama from "up north". This blog is about the stuff I find quirky, interesting and occasionally hilarious.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Dr. Rape
Alabama or Auburn
One thing you learn "real quick" when you move to Alabama is the whole Alabama v Auburn rivalry.
For the uninitiated- The University of Alabama and Auburn University are the two big schools in the state. They have (American) football teams. They are rivals.
For someone like me who a. does not care about sports and b. Auburn/ Alabama whaa? who cares?
social life can be a bit challenging.
Even something as mundane as ordering cable service can become... oh well-
hers what happened.
Me: I'd like to order cable and internet please.
Cable person: (Strong Southern drawl- SSD) Okay- did you want basic or digital.
Me: Digital with HD. Are BBC America and Sky sports included?
(the beeb is the only channel I care about and sky sports is for J's footie obsession).
Cable person: Yes.
Lots of back and forth about address and turning down a land line which apparently stumps the cable lady since "its a bundle" (sigh). Also this whole exchange is lengthened/ complicated by the fact that I can't understand half of what she is saying (SSD).
Finally- I think we have everything wrapped up and she says:
Cable person: Auburn or Alabama?
Me: ( Thinking furiously)- ummmmm Birmingham?
Cable person: (Exasperated)- Ma'am- Auburn or Alabama?
Me: (Thinking she is trying to check on our address) We are in Birmingham. Alabama. Our street address is *****.....
Cable person: (interrupting)- no Ma'am- (Slowing down even more - like she's trying to explain this to a retarded 2 y.o)- Auburn or Alabama?
Me: looking around in panic for J- can't find him.... Damn... uh huh Alabama?
Cable person: Thank you Ma'am. We'll have the service team there between blah blah.... thank you for your business blah blah....
Me: OK Thanks.
I still have no idea what that whole Auburn/ Alabama thing was all about. I guess I passed the quiz 'cause she finally seemed happy with my answer. But I feel like a total moron when I hang up.
Well the service guys showed up and we have cable and internet and I forgot all about the bizzarre Auburn/ Alabama thing.
Then a few weeks later- we get a package from the cable company with a University of Alabama T-shirt and baseball cap. J asks me about it and I can't think why they would send us this stuff.
Then it finally dawns on me- she was trying to ask me which team I supported (Auburn or Alabama) so she could send me the right fan gear.
File this under: Living in Alabama.
For the uninitiated- The University of Alabama and Auburn University are the two big schools in the state. They have (American) football teams. They are rivals.
For someone like me who a. does not care about sports and b. Auburn/ Alabama whaa? who cares?
social life can be a bit challenging.
Even something as mundane as ordering cable service can become... oh well-
hers what happened.
Me: I'd like to order cable and internet please.
Cable person: (Strong Southern drawl- SSD) Okay- did you want basic or digital.
Me: Digital with HD. Are BBC America and Sky sports included?
(the beeb is the only channel I care about and sky sports is for J's footie obsession).
Cable person: Yes.
Lots of back and forth about address and turning down a land line which apparently stumps the cable lady since "its a bundle" (sigh). Also this whole exchange is lengthened/ complicated by the fact that I can't understand half of what she is saying (SSD).
Finally- I think we have everything wrapped up and she says:
Cable person: Auburn or Alabama?
Me: ( Thinking furiously)- ummmmm Birmingham?
Cable person: (Exasperated)- Ma'am- Auburn or Alabama?
Me: (Thinking she is trying to check on our address) We are in Birmingham. Alabama. Our street address is *****.....
Cable person: (interrupting)- no Ma'am- (Slowing down even more - like she's trying to explain this to a retarded 2 y.o)- Auburn or Alabama?
Me: looking around in panic for J- can't find him.... Damn... uh huh Alabama?
Cable person: Thank you Ma'am. We'll have the service team there between blah blah.... thank you for your business blah blah....
Me: OK Thanks.
I still have no idea what that whole Auburn/ Alabama thing was all about. I guess I passed the quiz 'cause she finally seemed happy with my answer. But I feel like a total moron when I hang up.
Well the service guys showed up and we have cable and internet and I forgot all about the bizzarre Auburn/ Alabama thing.
Then a few weeks later- we get a package from the cable company with a University of Alabama T-shirt and baseball cap. J asks me about it and I can't think why they would send us this stuff.
Then it finally dawns on me- she was trying to ask me which team I supported (Auburn or Alabama) so she could send me the right fan gear.
File this under: Living in Alabama.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Easy Blueberry Jam
Easy-Peasy-Blueberry Jam
I'm on a DIY kick and I'm starting with jam. Yummmm.
Here is a step-by-step account.
Since this was my first attempt at jamming (ha ha), I started with 2 pints of blueberries.
1. Wash and clean berries. Drain.
2. Transfer berries to a large measuring cup and smash them with a potato masher.
The measuring cup is so you can make sure you have 6 cups of smashed berries when you finish. You can, of course, smash berries in a different pot, but then you'd have another dirty pot.
You can also process berries in a food processor, just make sure not to puree them.
3. Smashed goodness. I like little bits of fruit in my jam, so I wasn't maniacal about smashing every last berry. Make sure you end up with 6 cups of berries.
4. Squeeze out 1/4 cup of fresh lemon juice.
My lemon was rather seedy (heh) as you can see!
5. Get together sugar and pectin.
Pectin can be found in the canning section of most supermarkets. The box insert will have instructions on how much pectin and sugar to use for the fruit.
I used about 3 cups sugar and an entire packet of pectin. It was actually less sugar than recommended, but I had no problems with the jam setting.
Plus, I'd rather taste the blueberries than the sugar.
6. Add 1/4 cup sugar and pectin to the fruit along with 1/2 cup water and cook on low- moderate heat.
7. At this point ( if you are me), but preferably before you start with the fruit get your canning stuff ready.Here is what I did- ran my jars through the dish washer and kept them on the "heated dry" setting till I was ready to use them.
I tossed the lids into a pot of hot (not boiling) water.
8. Back to jamming- stir the fruit mixture often.
9. After about 5 min. the fruit will start to release its juices and thicken. Bonus- it smells heavenly.
10. I took pictures of the various stages. You can tell just by the colour deepening how well your jam is coming along.
11. After cooking some more, the jam takes on a gorgeous purple-y hue.
and thickens some more.
12. Add the rest of the sugar and cook some more. It should get harder to stir at this point. It will also start to foam.
14. To test if your jam is ready to jar-
Prep an ice bath (a bowl with ice and cold water). Dip a metal spoon into the cold water.
15. Scoop up some hot jammy goodness and wait for it to get to room temp. Check if it has set to the consistency you want. If it hasn't add more pectin to your mix and repeat steps 12-14.
Here is mine- all set!
17. Now comes the part I was truly afraid of- canning.
But , hey I've autoclaved before- I can do this.
Ladle the hot jam into canning jars*.
I LOVE that you can see the blueberry seeds. Somehow it makes the jam more fruity.
18. Screw on the lids tight and plop the jars into a heave bottomed pot with a lid or a pressure cooker.
I had 5 jars exactly and they all fit into my pressure cooker.
Make sure you have at least 3-4 inches of hot water and process (cook) for 10 minutes**.
I could still taste the hint of lemon which made the flavours immensely intense. So, unlike supermarket jam which is cloying after the second bite, I could devour half a jar of this stuff at one go.
YUMMY!
* You can get fancy canning equipment, tongs etc. I did this spur of the moment, so just used what was in the kitchen and it worked out great.
** Processing time will increase with altitude. Check the handy pectin sheet for that info. as well.
20. Finally a link to the website that made me try this experiment-
http://www.pickyourown.org/blueberryjam.htm
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